Over the last few years, I’ve heard/read many writers talking about not seeing female characters that were strong, and that was their inspiration for writing their first novel. Que me on my couch like “yes! I want strong female characters. They stand up for what they want, they make their own decisions, and they own what they have done, good or bad.”
And then I read the authors book. And I get sad. Because their female character is putting up with behavior I would never put up with. They covet the stalkerish behavior of the billionaire showing up and taking over their company decisions. Their first sexual encounter, she says she wants things to slow down and he says no and pushes for them to go forward when she is obviously not comfortable, and she then does a 180 on her position and is orgasaming all over the place. (mixed signals much)
There may be a small part of the female population that does enjoy being pushed, becasue this is not pursel, but it isn’t being a strong female.
Strong is being where you want to be, doing what you want to do, and walking away from a man who pushes you to do things that you aren’t ready to do yet.
Why can’t a woman do what she wants? Why can’t she want to have sex with whomever and whenever she wants? Why does she have to act unreasonable and the man then has to make excuses and take on the blame, when the woman was being irrational? Why is he apologizing for the idiotic, irrational, un-thought out things that she did? He did nothing wrong.
This is not a healthy relationship. Why is it under the romance genre. These people will not stay together in this relationship for long after the book ends.
A relationship is give and take. It is admitting when you did something stupid, wrong, or irrational. It’s taking responsibility for our past, current, and future actions. It’s forgiving. It’s standing next to the person not behind, or in front, but beside. It’s talking about things, making decisions together, and doing those things with each other.
We all have ideas of what romance is. I get it. But can we come together on what costiutes abusive behavior both on the male and female side and not put that material in our romance stories? Please, oh pretty please.